the honorary swedish citizen

I don’t typically write personal “bloggy” type things on my blog.  Typically, its how-to type stuff or food.  Some times the occasional anecdotal story. 

Yesterday, I was feeling so full of, yes, I’ll admit it, feelings.  You see, we are in the midst of major life change.  Because of certain circumstances, Craig resigned from his job about a month ago.  In that time, someone set fire to our church building, our house has gone up for sale, someone ended up on my porch bleeding to death (literally, not figuratively this time guys,) we have looked at getting a renter, and we have no idea where we are going yet.  I feel I owe it to myself to at least have a small record of what is going on for the next couple months because I don’t think I will believe it if its not actually written down for posterity.  

A couple days ago, our kind renter was over to check out the house again.  We have had absolutely NO action on our house what-so-ever.  Its annoying.  Unnerving, actually.  First of all, the square footage was misrepresented on our listing.  (Who in their right mind would want to buy a house of 1200 sq feet?!)  So we feel like that scared off potential buyers.  And secondly, the other agents are nervous about showing a house which has projects that are unfinished.  So anyway, our renter was here to check out our house again.  If you’ve ever had someone come over and tell you that you shouldn’t leave your couch because the color scheme is not right or tell you what their plans are for the master bedroom,  It gets you feeling a little… weird.  If I could choose any renter, this guy would totally be in the top 10, but still, all three of our children were newborns in this house.  I was only 22 when we bought it.  I’ve become a parent, wife, and adult in this house. 

The reality check was when he said he’d like to move into our house no later than the middle of June.  That’s about 6 weeks away.  It makes me have an anxiety attack just thinking about it. 

Also, we are having guests, in less than a week, from AUSTRALIA and my house is a complete disaster.  I know some of you will roll your eyes because my house is never really  a disaster, but its getting close.  We’ve been having our upstairs ceilings re-done (in hopes that that will sell the house, I guess) and its pretty much a war-zone up there.  I kindly let our ceiling refinisher know what was going on and he’s doing his best to get it done quickly.  (I love this guy.) 

I feel like, if I’ve dropped the ball with things, that people would literally not believe the stories I have as my excuse. 

I digress, back to the life change.  I am getting anxious about a job prospect that Craig has.  It sounds wonderful and amazing, but its still just that.  A prospect.  And he’s had about 40 zillion fall through so far. 

Because of the stress and pressure, I’ve been having lots and lots of anxiety dreams.  I had one a couple nights ago that I was single, dating Craig, and living in Seattle.  I was renting this ghetto little apartment and some weird animal got into the house.  It was so disturbing it woke me up.  I had one last night that there was a flood and one of my friend’s husband died.  (Not because of the flood, that was just extra.)  I had to swim through floodwaters by holding on to the back of a heifer to make it to the memorial where the kids from Valencia did a small presentation of the Nutcracker for our viewing pleasure. 

I think today I am going to do a couple proactive things (In terms of leaving.)  The pressure is on.  I might only have 6 weeks. 

-Get a grocery list for the next two weeks. (Don’t forget about our guests from afar!) Yes!  Complete!  I will shop tomorrow.

-Pack some of the girl’s toys from their room.  Dave needs to be back in their room today to finish texturing the ceiling.  I guess now’s the time to get the crap packed since it has to be out there to begin with. (Dave’s done, too.  Double score.)

-Bring some cardboard boxes in from the garage.  (Craig just came home for a minute and I took advantage of his having a coat on to avoid having to go out in the rain and cold.)

-Assess packing tape needs. 

-Call mom/sister/bff.  Isn’t that the first thing to do in a crisis?