the honorary swedish citizen

Trying to figure out what to do.

It just feels like one of those mornings where you just stand around, looking at everything you have to do, and say to yourself, “huh.”  And then you keep standing there. 

Today I feel like I am overwhelmed by the unknown.  I told Craig last night that I feel like it should be a time for clarity, but things feel as uncertain as they have ever been.  Craig will be flying out to Michigan later this week for a formal interview, but we have been through a bunch of those before and we get a polite, “You’re awesome, but we’ve found someone just a little more awesomer.” 

Because I have no idea where we are going, or when we are going there, I am having a hard time knowing what to do.  So I keep packing.  Everyday I pack about 5 more boxes.  Its a good feeling, but its a little weird not knowing when you will see these boxes opened again.  I was thinking how weird it is that I can’t visualize where my kitchen items are going.  I have no idea what my new kitchen will look like, or if I’ll even have one.  As I pack boxes of games and puzzles, I think, Will the kids have a playroom?  WIll they have thier own rooms?  Will they all be sharing a room in a tiny two-bedroom apartment? 

I am not sure why things have played out the way they have.  I don’t know why God has asked us to take (yet another) leap of faith and wait it out.  I feel frustrated because I always imagined that when it was time to leave Winona, it was because God had lead us somewhere else. 

We have no idea where that “somewhere else” is.